We are witnessing the greatest event of our generation, one that has changed everything: the way we relate to others, our understanding of reality, our way of life. It is not, dear reader, the COVID-19 pandemic we are talking about; it's not the 4T, nor the rise of Donald Trump on the global political stage; it's not the excitement or reservations caused by the emergence of cryptocurrencies, nor the ominous passing of the famous baton of power, nor the incredible admission of the existence of extraterrestrial life, complete with dissected aliens, which recently occurred in the Mexican congress. None of that. It is an unprecedented cosmic catastrophe: the zombie apocalypse.
Comic books, novels, movies, and TV series in the zombie subgenre were not enough to prevent the apocalypse. Zombies have taken over the planet, and only a few skilled hunters realized it, although it was too late. This is because, to our surprise, zombies did not turn out to be exactly as they were portrayed in popular culture. They appeared with some variations in their characteristics that, while leaving their essential condition of the living dead intact, were enough to mislead the living.
In this column, we have chosen to stand with the living and arbitrarily assume the role of the leading authority in zombie hunting. We hope this act serves as a testimony that civilization once thrived on this desolate wasteland. We consider it our moral duty to warn our very few readers about the characteristics of 21st-century zombies, whether to prevent or simply inform and perhaps reverse the real-life zombie apocalypse and restore humanity. Let's get to it.
Like their fictional counterparts, 21st-century zombies have been affected by a terrifying infection. The difference is that in real life, the pathogen, instead of a virus, is an idea: a dead idea, a zombie idea. Zombie ideas are, in the words of Paul Krugman, "ideas that stumble about, dragging their feet and devouring people's brains, despite being refuted by evidence." The unfortunate victims of the zombie infection wander the world with dead ideas in their heads, banging into walls and infecting other unsuspecting individuals who haven't realized the apocalypse has already happened.
While some skilled hunters can easily discern the state of decay in 21st-century zombies, the reality is that the majority of the living population is unprepared. This is mainly because, as we mentioned earlier, their characteristic traits are not exactly the same as those presented in various fictional depictions. Therefore, one must look closely and unravel these essential notes that identify them.
The first characteristic is that zombies do not know they are zombies. They have lost the ability for self-awareness, reflection, criticism, and conversation. The victims do not realize that the infection has taken hold in their minds in the form of a zombie idea. They walk through the world convinced that the ideas they harbor in their thoughts are alive ideas and fiercely defend them. They are unaware that these ideas lack the vitality and dynamism of thought, which is always thinking of itself, always in motion. Zombie ideas, on the other hand, appear as finished, complete, irrefutable, and that is why they are dead ideas because they no longer think of themselves.
But zombies believe they are as alive as everyone else, and what they think is living thought. They easily despair when we put these ideas to the test and reveal their decomposition, activating the second essential zombie characteristic: violence.
Fictional zombies bite, chase, scratch, and harm; real-life zombies do the same. When cornered and made aware that they are infected and that their ideas are dead ideas, they become furious. They cannot conceive the possibility of being wrong and react violently. They excel in irony, sarcasm, harassment, and insults. They use the most elaborate and pompous epithets to insult, offend, and harm others. They call the living scoundrels, traitors, fools, sycophants, and many other wonders. They are champions of vilification, and their bite is easy insults, short fuses, and ad hominem attacks.
Since zombies do not know they are zombies, there is a possibility that any of us may be one. Simply being willing to undergo a brief self-examination is a good sign, as it shows a willingness for self-awareness. Let's ask ourselves:
How often am I absolutely certain that I am right? How willing am I to entertain the idea of being wrong, even if no one points it out to me? Am I accustomed to retrace my steps, my words, and decisions regularly? Do I examine my convictions regularly? Am I prone to easy insults, humiliation of those who think differently, and those who question my ideas? Do I get easily angry?
In the upcoming installments of this series, we will continue to elucidate the horrific devastation caused by the zombie hordes of our time, describing and analyzing their main distinctive features. Meanwhile, we are gaining ground for the living, one zombie at a time.
How are you liking our content?
It's looking good! Keep it up! 👍
Dude, give up, this is not your thing 👎
Comments