In the previous installment of this series, we wrote about how we are involuntary witnesses of the real-life zombie apocalypse and how 21st-century zombies present themselves with only slight modifications to their typical characteristics, enough to go unnoticed.
We mentioned that, like fictional zombies, real-life ones have been infected (with zombie ideas), have lost consciousness (they don't know they're zombies), and pursue, scratch, and bite their victims furiously.
Today, we'll delve a little deeper into that fury, which takes the form of irony, mockery, and shouting. Zombies react violently and "bite" others with their words. They are experts in insults, sarcasm, and vilification.
You can commonly find them in the street, and you'll easily identify them by paying attention and, we hope, keeping a safe distance from where they display their irrational fury. From the crazed drivers honking their horns (as if the noise could magically clear traffic jams) to the contortionists who stick half their body out the window while in motion to shout the most surprising profanities. You'll recognize the furious symptom in those who lose their sanity when it's pointed out that they're literally going in the wrong direction, those who rush to "win" a parking spot, those who insult waiters, cashiers, clerks, and employees, or worse, those who attack teachers; those who become enraged when things don't go their way, those who believe that shouting commands respect, and those who exude anger through every pore at the slightest provocation.
Blinded by their fury and incapable of learning, zombies don't participate in conversations to listen and grow but to react and humiliate. They have forgotten that truth, through dialogue, brings people together no matter how different they are. Zombies aren't seeking the truth; they seek victory at any cost. They don't engage in conversations; they argue. But they don't do it as an intellectual exercise of seeking and discovery, nor to acknowledge the mystery that is life. They argue not because they want to exercise reason, but because their greatest obsession is to be right. Do you, dear reader, notice the difference between exercising reason and being right? If not, take a moment to consider it.
The unfortunate real-life zombies have an obscene fixation on being right. They cannot fathom the possibility of being wrong. But how could that possibility fit in their minds when they are completely infected with zombie ideas? And one of those zombie ideas is believing that error is bad. This reality leads us to another essential characteristic of 21st-century zombies: they are terribly allergic to error.
Writer and journalist Kathryn Schulz wrote a very entertaining book in 2010 about making mistakes. It's called "On Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error." In her book, the author explains that people (we would say zombies) often equate differences in thinking with error. In other words, those who think differently are wrong. This zombie idea is deeply ingrained in the minds of those affected by the 21st-century apocalypse: "everyone who disagrees with me is wrong."
It's curious because even zombies admit that error is a deliciously unpleasant reality of the human condition, as unpleasant as it is inevitable. You can make them admit that "to err is human," that "nobody is perfect," and that "we must admit when we are wrong." However, these moral lessons apply exclusively to others, never to themselves. Zombies know the lesson well, so well that they prescribe it relentlessly to others but never internalize it. We'd say they master it at a logical and conceptual level, but not at a moral and experiential level. In a nutshell: "You'd better accept your mistakes because to err is human, and we all make mistakes... except me."
Back to Schulz. The journalist writes that, in the eyes of these individuals, those who think differently do so for one of three reasons, each worse than the last: first, they are ignorant, not realizing they are wrong; second, they are idiots, unable to acknowledge their mistakes even when pointed out; or third, they are evil. Reducing error to ignorance, idiocy, or malice is a characteristic of zombies, and it's why they react with anger to differences and mistakes.
Their allergy to error, the violence with which zombies react, their ease in insulting, their frequent emotional outbursts, reveal yet another characteristic of their condition (another symptom!), which is their irredeemable narcissism. More on this next time.
For now, as it's already clear that zombies don't know they're zombies, it's time for a little self-examination: What is your reaction to defeat and error? How easily do you admit to being wrong? If you feel an unbearable itch every time you lose, get angry easily when someone points out your mistakes, if you're quick to correct others but resistant to being corrected yourself, be cautious! You'll need a lot of soap and water to relieve that dreadful itch.
In the meantime, let's continue to take sides for the living and reverse the apocalypse, one zombie at a time.
How are we doing, so far?
You're good, man! Keep going! 👍
Better jump off a cliff, my friend 👎
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